Put Victory Like Fire Behind My Shining Eyes

YES, I DID IT.  I finished the first draft of Drakeshelm.  It feels unreal.  I mean, I just finished it.  The words are barely dry on the page.  I'm pummeling my ears with music because I need to feel something.

you could raise me like a banner in the battle
put victory like fire behind my shining eyes
and I would drift like falling snow over the embers
but for now just let me lie

A part of me is, understandably, incredibly excited because I've wrapped up the first draft of yet another Plenilunar novel!  That's three novels - count them: Plenilune, Talldogs, Drakeshelm.  (Can't count Ethandune yet because it needs so much work.  Sorry.)  It's unbelievably exciting and rewarding and I'm so proud of myself.  

Aaaaand another part of me is pretty much downright terrified.  This is the part I don't like.  This is the part where I'm adrift for a spell, knowing there are still gobs of stuff I need to work on (Ethandune...), feeling shell-shocked about finishing Drakeshelm, and also the terror of "What if the ending isn't as good as it should be?  What if I failed this one?  What if my story falls flat?"
i guess that's why we have editing
Don't you worry, I'll pick myself back up in a day or two.  Right now I'm going to focus on the victory and start brainstorming for...what I have to do next.  But I figured others have probably finished first drafts before and possibly even felt that mingled excitement and terror, so I thought I'd let you know - I am 100% right there right now.   

i finished a novel! that feeling is not getting old, you guys. not. getting. old.

4 ripostes:

  1. Awesome! Hooray for you!

    I've only been there once with a full-length novel draft...but I can testify to the unreality. When you've been working on something for that long, it becomes such a big part of your life that there's a very strange empty spot there for a while when you realize you'll never have to work on that particular first draft again.

  2. Congratulations! The feeling of finishing a book is incredible, though I agree, often mingled with terror. Excited to see the forward progress of more Plenilunar novels!
    And that's a really great song, by the way. ;)

  3. Yay! Congrats!
    Last November during NaNo I finished my first book in six years. Such a great feeling. Of course now I'm slogging through editing. I worry about my ending as well. I think I need a bit of an epilogue to give it closure, because it's a really bittersweet ending (maybe too much emphasis on the 'bitter') and it should show that even then, happiness comes afterwards.
    So, yup. I am also really stuck on my opening scene. It seems so static and boring somehow. I just can't figure it out. I've done a lot of rewriting of scenes but I know I have to tackle that first one sooner or later.
    Basically: you can do it! (the encourager needs encouragement too, sometimes).

  4. I just made my first comment over on one of your newer posts and decided to go back and comment here too. This post excited me for two reasons. First, hooray for a finished Drakeshelf draft! Congratulations!
    Second, I just finished a playlist I've been working on for Plenilune. The initial idea was partially inspired (months ago) by Audrey Assad's Show Me, so seeing you use lyrics from that song is rather nice. The playlist isn't incredible but here's link for what it's worth: http://8tracks.com/northern-lass/margaret-of-plenilune