me as a person, if i am still that
I have a two year old + a two month old, & despite my best efforts I am flat-out tired. (jenny. you just said you have an infant. duh you're tired.) The children are honestly pretty good about sleeping (usually), but all the same I have zero stamina & most days I feel like I'm hanging on by my fingernails to get to my favourite lying-down-in-a-prone-position-in-my-comfy-king-size-bed time. & yep, despite my best efforts, that's me physically + emotionally right now.
me as a better person, maybe??
My best efforts include exercise because people tell me that exhausting yourself with exercise makes you less tired. Something about your body increasing its resistance to stress. I laugh. I cry. But it's for my good. & I can't really complain because the real hard stuff hasn't even begun; I'm working gently on my inner-inner core which rules out ALL standard abdominal exercises because those can just make the damage worse. (most difficult bit is the "TVA squeeze" 'cause you haul in the hugest breath, suck in your belly button to your spine, & let the breath out as slowly as possible. i have successfully not passed out while doing this.)
me as a person trying new things (screaming emoji)
WHAT THE HECK IS MAMAMOO. I have no idea. I looked & I can genuinely say, I have no idea. But the four-girl Kpop band wrote + performed "Girl Crush," which I finally gave in + listened to; turns out, that's basically me. O___o
i just wanna be
Being smart may be better than being pretty, but can't I be both?? XD Well, maybe not, but I do my best with what I've got. I was never the fashionable, popular girl - I didn't know what that thing was. Now I know, & that sounds cool. Cool + kind + at least able to fake intelligence because that's what most of us do anyway, right...?
When this was first introduced to me, I a:: zoned out because I am 100% not capable of fancy hand-letting, & b:: couldn't follow the mathematical purpose of the exercise. But then I got frustrated with some bad habits of mine & started scrawling goals + notes down in a moleskin notebook (best notebooks, so cute + portable this post is not sponsored honest), & the next thing I knew, I was basically bullet journalling. My how the self-righteous have fallen.
alpha reader (full-bore screaming)
I have never shown a work-in-progress to someone while it is in its ugly, barely-constructed stage, but Ethandune has been stumping me so badly that I scootched a la inchworm over to the brain behind Intuitive Writing Guide (which I still need to officially follow, bee tee dubs; I keep forgetting to do that), & asked if she would look over my manuscript + provide some feedback to help me see where I need to go - you know, the kind of stuff everyone else has been doing since the dawn of writing. But I am a:: nervous, b:: shy, c:: my writing in a first draft is practically buck-naked + I'm not happy showing it to anyone; oh + d:: I'm passionately independent so of course asking for help goes against all of what is me. But I did it. & she said yes. So here we go.
boom. that's me. not my most flowering time of life but thank you all the same for sticking with me + caring. until next time,xoxo, jenny